Learning to live without our Angel Andrew / Debi Collins (Through his beautiful wife Rose ) Well Rose, you really did it this time girl. After reading your email this morning, I came to visit Jason's site. I have cried until I now look like a Panda Bear. I just feel so much love and such a tragic loss. I see him in family pictures and I want to snap my fingers or wiggle my nose and bring him back to you and your beautiful children. It breaks my heart Rose, to know that so many people are hurting inside and as I told you, I somehow knew that the initial "adjustment" period was coming to a hault for you and that reality was going to sting a bit. I'm here for you...anytime of day or night. I'll send my phone # per email. Before I close, Jason, send a hug to Rose and a hankie that smells like you so she can cry and feel you close at the same time. Help her Jason, make it day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute because we never know what awaits us. As you dry her tears, encourage her, applaude her and thank her for working so hard at keeping your memory alive for your family and for loving you for all eternity. You were and remain, a VERY LUCKY MAN! Hey, pitch a fast one to Andrew. You might just be surprised. With Love..............Debi http://andrew-collins.last-memories.com
Happy Halloween / Darla Burmaster (Friend) From Darla
Missing you!! / Rose~~ Your wife Forever!! Read >>
Missing you!! / Rose~~ Your wife Forever!!
Well, babe, this still sucks. Tommorow will be 8 months. Today is day 241. Why? That's one of the questions I still need answered. Why did you have to move to Heaven so soon, & without me? Then there is When? When will I get to be with you? & lastly, How? How am I supposed to live without you? I miss you so much. I just don't want to carry on without you. Please ask Jesus to hurry back & take us all home. I love you!!! Close
Murray Family Reunion / Rose
Jason, we missed you so much at the family reunion this year. Once again, we had it at float camp here in town. Aunt Lilly was in charge, & I gotta tell ya, she did a great job. Your family is so incredibly kind to the kids & I. I'm very very thankful for them. You've got some strong women in your family babe. I can learn a lot from them. Yesterday mornin I was kinda worried about how it would all go for us to go without you. But, by yesterday afternoon, I knew without a doubt that I am still part of the family. They all miss you so much. I love them all so much & I'm so very proud to be a MURRAY!! Babe, I love you!! Close
Jason, we miss you so!!! / Rose
Well babe, I haven't been on the computer much lately. Tyler has been really sick. He had a 3 day stay in our wonderful local Hospital. Your friends in the ER are absolutely AWESOME!! Chad is the bomb!! Tyler had the absolute best care possible. Sherry really had our backs too. Even though it's been 6 months since you moved to Heaven, I gotta say, your gang still misses you so much. They really took care of your boy. Honey, he has asthma. Out of all the wonderful traits that Tyler has of yours, I sure wish this one had passed him by. He does NOT like it at all. & has no problem telling me. :) Life is so strange without you here, I wish I had some way of bringing you back. Ty really wanted you. Even to the point of crying & we all know he's not one to be emotional like that. (Got that from you) It breaks my heart & I don't know what to say. Jason, tell God that we said Thanks for the blessing of Tyler feeling better. Please help him watch over all of our children. I LOVE YOU!!!!!! Close
My Partner / Roy
There is not a day passes that I don't think about how Jason and I would handle a call. Every emergency call I go on, he is with me. His caring for patients was second to none. I looked up to him when we were partners and I still to do to this day. Jason is an inspiration to all!!!!!!!!! Close
I do understand your pain! / Deborah (one who can relate to his wife )Read >>
I do understand your pain! / Deborah (one who can relate to his wife )
HI Rose,
I saw your post on the forums and felt compelled to reply. I haven't been on the forums for at least a year (which is probably why my password won't work), but I happened to go to it today and saw what you wrote. I
I wanted you to know that I feel your pain. When my husband first passed I was looking for answers too, I had the same questions you have and wondered the same things you do about being punished.
Fortunately, I found my answer and I know you will find yours too. Everyone mourns differently so I wouldn't dare try to presume to tell you that you will get through it in a certain amount of time and DO NOT allow anyone to tell you how long you should mourn or that you should "be over it by now."
During my time of deep grief, I found that people want to be there for you but some just don't know how to. They may feel uncomfortable because you are crying all the time and they just don't know what to say to you, but don't blame them or think that they don't care because what I've learned is... they actually do.
Most likely they haven't experienced the kind of hurt & pain you are experiencing and find it hard to relate.
I still think about the things we (my husband and I) looked forward to in life and it makes me sad, but the difference now is that when I get sad, I can own that...feel it...and continue on. Where before it would control and stifle me.
God doesn't take away your troubles, but he definitely gets you through them and believe me...you will get through it...at your own pace.
Until then, if you need to talk or just need someone to listen...I will glady be there for you .
Missing you / Rose
Jason, once again, I can't sleep without you next to me. I was reading over all the candles & tributes on here since we started this site & left LastMemories.com. It is amazing how much things have changed. Mostly for the better. There's not anymore controversy on the sites now. For that, I am thankful!! As I was reading back, I can see how I became so obsessed with everything. It's really sad, babe, I was an idiot. Not for defending your honor, definately not that, but for allowing any of that crap to even enter my mind. People were so very cruel in the beginning, now that their lives have changed, it's different. I cannot believe some of the things people wrote on here. or some of the things that I wrote. There is so much about that time, that I just don't remember, but reading back, I see how much tougher I have become. Jason, I hope I'm doing things the right way. It's scary to raise our children without you. & in all honesty, I guess I'm still pretty angry about everything. You moving to Heaven, all the meanness, & now that I realize how I was, I'm angry at myself!! For allowing others opinions of our marriage bother me. That was so stupid. Jason, so many times we talked of our future. If only we could still have it. But.....I know that the future that we will have together in Heaven will be well worth the wait!! Jason, my main goal, other than raising our children, is going to Heaven. I can't do that with all the bitterness that I hold in my heart. I'm praying daily & working on it, it's just such a slow process it seems like. Jason, no-one, NO-ONE, will ever know how wonderful our love is. I will forever be thankful to be your wife. I LOVE YOU!! Close
HERE IT IS ROSE!! / Maria (none) Rose hang on it does get better each day you know why hun, becuase we get closer to meeting again our loved ones!!!! I hope you like it! I loved the photo it went perfect with it!
Jace, you already know, it just makes me too sad to write about it right now. Aunt Mary Jane joined you in Heaven. Life is not fair. We are going to the services today & tommorrow. Please help God to watch over us all & keep us safe. Jason, I LOVE YOU!!
Well Murray, I gotta tell ya, it sure isn't getting any easier living here on earth with you living in Heaven. I'm so very thankful to be your wife Jason!! I would give anything for just one more day with you!! I LOVE YOU!!
Andrew's bonus Mom / Debi Collins (A friend through Christ )
Jason,
Rose is without a doubt, your Angel here on earth. She will not let the memories of her handsome, wonderful husband simply vanish. She moves forward, even with pain and agony and a void that only she can feel at this time...she is, and always will be, your sole mate. I feel as if I know you, and I know in my heart, that you are with Andrew and that both of you are safe and whole again. Rose pays such wonderful tributes to Andrew on his site. I'm just not the computer whiz that she is. Hey, toss a base ball to Andrew today and watch him work his magic. RIP Jason and send love, hugs and kisses to your beautiful wife and children....Debi Collins
6 months today / Rose Murray (Wife~~FOREVER!!)Read >>
6 months today / Rose Murray (Wife~~FOREVER!!)
Oh sweetie, this is just crazy. 6 whole months ago my world fell apart. I miss you so. It just hurts too bad to think. I will love you forever!! Close
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